Tuesday, October 21, 2014

All Right!

Looks like I'm going to make my blog post for the month.  I am, of course, liquored up at the Denver airport, so enjoy! (This should get worse as it goes along...)
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I get a couple of complimentary passes to the United Club with the credit card that my work is kind enough to cover the service fee for.  Anyway, I accidentally scammed a few extra passes (that's what they get for using USPS) and upon this visit their bottom shelf beer taps are busted so their top shelf one's are free, yay!  So much for avoiding beer to lose weight.  (Note for future, go to western United Club since it's more empty than the east, even though it's like a one minute walk between the two).
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Speaking of beer, I was at work out here and wanted to pick up a growler on the way back to my "place of rest" (PoR) and I wanted the brewery to be close.  It turned out there was a new one right around the corner.  It was, of course, crowded, even though it wasn't even five o'clock yet.  I'll also point out that this is one of four (that I know of) microbrews that's within ten minutes of my work (to say nothing of the countless breweries that I pass on my way back to my PoR).  I'll also (also) point out that this place is in the middle of an industrial park, miles away from any restaurant, etc.  Isn't there a saturation point for micro-breweries?  Especially in health-minded Colorado?  I mean, in perpetually drunk Cleveland, maybe, but who in Colorado is drinking all this beer?
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I've recently kicked my workout up a slight notch to 30 minutes of weights and 50 minutes of cardio, every other day.  My ever skinny brother got back from his run and he remarked that he worked out for 45 minutes.  "Not much", I thought.
"How far did you go?", I asked him.
"Six miles.", said he.
"Were you on a bike?!?", said I.
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I've been in Colorado for a week for work and my boss came in from Cleveland late on my second to the last day.  I've had conversations like this before but it came up again:
Boss: "Hey, you been missing us?"
Me: "..."
Me: "Oh yeah, beennnn, hating every moment of this living hell away from my bosses and Cleveland weather, can't wait to get back!"
Boss: "Yep, can get kind of lonely out here."
Me: "Oh yeah, so much camaraderie back in the home office where no one bothers to show up for work."
Boss: "Of course there are more people out here.."
Me: "yeah..."
Boss: "...and you do have a lot of equipment out here to maintain..."
Me: "Look, just...stop now unless you really want to know I was lying and that I want you to go away and me to stay."
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As usual Hertz had me penciled in for a Chevy Malibu (hooray), but instead I ended up with a Toyota Camry (or, given my bro-in-law's employment situation, the 'Joe Mobile').  Nice set of wheels, but my favorite part was going over 400 miles on a tank of juice (14.620 gallons).  Also nice is that it had no problem getting up to 110mph...as someone else tells me...
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I recently found myself quality checking a college course for my alma mater.  There was a time delay between when they said that I was approved and when I started and in the interim I had forgotten why I had agreed to do it.  Aggravation set in when I realized how much of a PIA it is check both the coursework AND the technical underpinnings of an online course.  "What was I thinking?!?" was all I could think.  I ended up combing through old emails and discovered that the reward for the QA job was a $200 American Express card.  As anyone who knows my methodical nature when it comes to software QA, I knew this amount wasn't going to come close to minimum wage (maybe, MAYBE, half).  My mistake; WGU will have to do what they usually do: have the students QA the coursework.
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Lastly, there's a subject that my one brother felt that I should bring up: clinical depression (have fun guessing the brother, ha!).  Oh so much fun!  The reason being that he appears to get spells of this from time to time and his theory is that it is genetic since I suffer from the same symptoms, absent narcos.  I could go around and ask all my siblings, but that's like, work, and given the stigma of clinical depression I might not get honest answers even from those that I love the most.

"Depression" is actually a bad word for clinical depression since it really doesn't involve being "depressed" per se.  My brother referred to it as his 'little dark friend' which is more apt.  For those not in the know, it's like staring into a pit of nothing, not darkness, because that's something.  It's just a void that cannot be filled, with anything; a mental blind spot.  People see things that make them feel angry, happy, sad, ambivalent, but, imagine, if you can, seeing something that makes you feel nothing.

When I would have symptoms I would often have a 'dual brain' issue where I was crying on one hand, but had no idea what I was crying about on the other.  The classic physiological cause is a lack of dopamine processing in the brain, which can also lead to lack of sleep, PLMD, and other, remarkably less fun, symptoms.  I never had thoughts of self-destruction; I'll must be point out that such thoughts can result from the symptoms of clinical depression (imagine not sleeping, at all, for years), but aren't from clinical depression itself.

Please note that this is not the same as people being depressed about something.  Of course someone could have both (oof!).

Anyway, I bring this up because what sticks in the back of my mind is a friend of a friend who had severe mental health issues like this and ended up committing suicide.  To those who don't know what it's like, this is taboo.  However, to those who do, unfortunate that it is, this poor person died from severe clinical depression just as sure as if they were to die from an inoperable, malignant tumor: it was beyond their power and everyone else's to avoid.

Drugs and other therapies do have their limits, but it's worth a shot to chase off any 'little dark friends'.
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Oop, gotta got, especially now that I've switched to bottom shelf gin and tonics.  Later Sandmich fans!  (both of you).  Check my Twitter feed for (mildly) more frequent updates.