Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Candyman

At the local Asian market, the candy selection seems to break down along two lines:

  1. Rather attractive, though pricey, products from the Land of the Rising Sun
  2. Barely edible, though cheap, crap from the Philippines and other third world Asian countries (i.e., the rest, though Thai and domestic Asiatic experiments seemed to be the other big groups)
This past time out I noticed there were several Japanese candies that appeared to be new products (to that store) and I decided to pick up few...


Super Lemon

I got this one because I particularly enjoyed the pic on the back...


POWERFUL CANDY!
POWERFUL CANDY!

So it might be 'powerful', but how 'bout the taste? I figured it'd taste like those Warhead candies and wasn't disappointed - incredibly sour coating with regular lemon candy inside. Unlike a Warhead though, it doesn't have that 'revenge center' despite the efforts of a diagram on the back of the package to convince you otherwise.

Next...


Milk Candy


I thought this one might be good on it's face, but it had an intriguing line on the back...


The milk candy with the chewy meat center!

Do the people at these places have absolutely* no English speaking friends? Or friends who have English speaking friends? Or friends of friends who own some sort of dictionary? Or is this candy actually 'flesh' flavored? Hmmmm.....

I figured they'd taste like caramels, but they were quite unique. The were mostly hard, yet very, very slightly chewy. I couldn't pinpoint the taste, but my wife later pinned it when she said they tasted like sweetened condensed milk that had been turned into hard candies. So fans of sweetened-condensed (which should be everyone) shouldn't be disappointed to have these bad boys rolling around in your mouth, rehydrating into their native form.

Lastly....


Cone of Mystery!

I came by this while I was unsuccessfully hunting down some more Ultimate Muscle gum. From the picture on the front, I figured it'd be like a dehydrated ice cream cone of some sort, which I'm cool with. However, it turned out to be a bit more bizarre than that. I unwrapped it and found that someone took it upon themselves to try and recreate the taste and texture of an ice cream cone at room temperature - the 'day walker ice cream cone' if you would. Weirdly enough, they largely succeeded. The missus didn't care for the taste, but me and boy-sandmich liked it. The strawberry was every bit as bad as regular strawberry ice cream and the chocolate interior more than made up for it. It was a bit scary though, my brain didn't want to accept the fact that such a thing could exist.

*(I'll use this opportunity to get a story off my chest. At the beginning of the year I was at some function with my buddy and his wife who happens to be from a far-east country that I mention on occasion. During conversation, she would exclaim every now and then "ABsulROOTly!". I thought this was quite endearing and took to pronouncing it this way myself (along with our dog, 'Fruffy').

As many of you know (or could guess at this point), insofar as 'L' and 'R' exist in Asian languages, they're the same letter/sound, and it's damn near impossible for many a native of the region to differentiate the two, the 'L' obviously being the rough spot. Though the opposite also occurs; one of the more egregious examples of this that I've seen was an anime character toy that had been labeled 'Polno Diane'.

Anyway from what my buddy had said, his wife was, as could be expected, having a rough time with this. However, when I met up with them less than six months later, the opportune word came up and I was about knocked over when I heard "Absolutely!". Although happy and impressed that she had mastered a rather difficult pronunciation, I was disappointed that I'd probably never hear the more characteristic way again. Except from myself of course, but that's hardly 'endearing'!


Oh yeah, you can find a pic of 'Polno Diane' here.)

2 comments:

Justin said...

Super Lemon rules!

Evil Sandmich said...

No doubt! It's POWERFUL CANDY!

(Though not as powerful as Warheads. Of course if they were more powerful than Warheads they'd be coated with sulfuric instead of citric acid)